Me Myself &The Mosquitoes!!!

Ek macchar, saala ek macchar aadmi ko hijra bana deta hai……………….
Time: 11:29 p.m.
Venue: My room
My current Status: Annoyed

Here I am sitting in front of the computer, trying to listen to some tracks, trying to cram up stuff for my upcoming exams when this continuous buzzing sound inspires me to churn out yet another post.
At the stroke of midnight when the rest of the world sleeps, I stay awake in the hope of eliminating all mosquitoes that seek refuge in my room. It’s so damn irritating that when you try to engross yourself in any task, especially when you try to get some sleep or study, these mosquitoes start playing their orchestra all around you & especially very close to your ears. This is followed by a full army attack where these foul flying machines keep bouncing up & down all around you, occasionally hitting you especially on the side of your head. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………WHACK………..mar gaya saala macchar!!
The average human is usually reduced to clapping his hand wildly in mid-air in the hope of bringing down some of them but most of these efforts turn out to be futile coz these creatures are as quick & smart as they are irritating. And if you live anywhere near my place, the surging population of these mosquitoes & their influx in your house can really cause an emotional & mental breakdown. The mosquito party starts late in the evening, at around 7 p.m. & continues till the wee hours of the morning. They forcibly remind me of the Mortein add where this mosquito named Louie is singing a song along with his comrades,” Macchar hoon main Louie mera naam sab ka khoon choosna hai mera kaam…..” sorry coz I don’t remember the lyrics completely & this damn mosquito is flying in loops all around me…….just a sec eh………..BAM…..yeh bhi mar gaya!!
All these stupid ads- Good Night, Mortein & Kachua Chaap (ridiculous name) which guarantees machhar ka complete safaya remain woefully ineffective in harming the mosquitoes that seem to have developed immunity towards them. One thing that I really appreciate about mosquitoes is their intelligence. Mosquitoes have a tendency to occupy that part of the ceiling which is inaccessible to the human hand & they also have really good hiding places, places where one would not actually expect to find them (these include the space under you sofa & by the time you realize this they would have already sucked up half of the blood from your legs)……Saale Bhain De Takke mujhe kaatta hai….SWHACK……take that you little pice of shit!!!
When such crude methods, such as trying to swat mosquitoes with your bare hands, fail it’s there where the mosquito racquet comes handy.
This ‘made in China’ maal is something like a table tennis racquet capable of imparting a mild electric shock which immediately kills mosquitoes that come in contact with it. It’s a much better & faster way to kill those devils rather than using your hands or the swat thingy & it is also rechargeable. I am really fond of this thing coz one of my hands remains free to enjoy any activity that requires the usage of hands while in the other I hold the mosquito killing racquet Moreover it is completely safe & comes with a 6 months warrantee period.. Isse chalana hai bilkul aasan aur keemat hai sirf 150 rupaye….Sorry for sounding like those people in the TeleBrands add but seriously I hail this thing as one of man’s greatest inventions. The only problemo here is that the current actually burns the mosquitoes so there might be some smoke that may be produced & when attacked with the racquet the dead mosquitoes body whirls around so fast that you get dizzy watching it. All this stuff make good visualization doesn’t it?!!
Sitting amidst the dead remains of the half burnt & charred bodies of the mosquitoes I have electrocuted (Ab tak chappan), I would like to sign off……………
My next post will be about cockroaches….I knows you can’t wait to read it but you’ll have to wait for my exams to end!!
Chao
Abhi